How Much Control and Power Do You Have?

For many people, concepts like "control" and "power" are still taboo. Too many clichés have relegated them to dark activities, certainly not for the benefit of most. But is that really the case?

Nothing happens without Control and Power

In general, we don’t have a good relationship with the concepts of “Control” and “Power”.

I realize this whenever I talk or write about them and receive rather heated reactions, based on a distorted understanding of these two fundamental elements of our lives which, even more so, define the quality of our leadership.

To be blunt: without control and power, it’s impossible to talk about leadership—let alone quality of life.

That said, let’s take a closer look at how these two essential aspects of our daily existence influence not only the quality but, above all, the effectiveness we are able to bring to any area of our lives.

Although “Control” and “Power” are distinct concepts, they are inseparably linked, as they feed each other: one determines the other and vice versa. The stronger one is, the more solid and stable the other becomes.

The quality of POWER determines the quality of CONTROL

The quality of CONTROL determines the quality of POWER

False POWER will produce false CONTROL, and vice versa

True POWER will produce true CONTROL, and vice versa

The reason we react so negatively—or at least feel discomfort—toward these two activities is that we usually suffer them, and we suffer them because they are weak within us.

Let’s reflect on how we react to other people’s power and control over us.

Would we oppose them—as we in fact do—if we felt we already had full control and power over our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and actions?

The worst thing in the world is a person with no personal control or power—those that are cultivated over time through deep inner work—who is nonetheless given the authority to exercise power and control over others thanks to a position acquired from above (we see this in society, politics, the workplace, etc.).

It’s devastating, and this is why most of us rightly experience it so negatively.

But it doesn’t have to be this way, and the only antidote is to develop these faculties on our own, within ourselves, for ourselves… and for others.

This is the foundation of leadership, always remembering that nature does not tolerate “voids”: either we exercise leadership over ourselves, or there is a crowd of people out there ready to fill that void.

Some points to consider

It would take several volumes to properly address such an important topic, and I certainly won’t attempt to do so in a single article. But I can offer a few reflections to significantly elevate the level of control and power in one’s leadership—or at least to begin a serious inquiry.

Not everything that looks like “Power” truly is

If I asked you what the opposite of “Power” is, you would probably answer “Powerlessness”… and you’d be right.
But there’s more.

Power can be defined as “the ability to act and/or achieve desired results”. Agreed?

However, there exists a form of pseudo-power that we call Resistance, which has nothing to do with Power itself. We can define Resistance as “the will to avoid undesirable situations”.

When I exercise Power, I pursue and achieve what I want.
When I Resist, I try at all costs to avoid what I do not want.
It is therefore a false version of Power—yet it is what most people go after.

How we give up—or acquire—greater Control/Power

Human nature is such that we will do anything to avoid inner conflict, and we do so especially by blaming others when something happens that we failed to prevent.

In doing so, we are not only declaring that we lacked the power to avoid what we didn’t want, but we are handing over to the person we blame the power to have made it happen.

It doesn’t get worse than that.

By taking responsibility (not blame!) for what happens—even when it has nothing to do with us—we declare that we have the control/power to change things.
This is leadership.

Work on the cause rather than the effect

We usually try to change events once they have already occurred, but this is impossible, because events are merely the effect of dynamics triggered by interactions of past situations—difficult, if not impossible, to identify and analyze.

Real Control/Power comes from adopting behaviors, attitudes, and actions that will positively influence the dynamics that eventually produce the desired effects.
Based on the understanding of systems dynamics, a leader is able to “bend” events to their own (and others’) benefit.

All Control/Power ultimately belongs to Nature

In reality, Control and Power make little sense, because no one can claim to use them at will… at least not sustainably.

We can do and create anything, but always and only by aligning ourselves with the unbreakable laws of Nature, which are themselves aimed at contributing to the well-being of the systems that depend on it.

A leader deeply integrated into a reality that has evolved over millennia toward ever-greater interconnection among peoples and individuals—a process still very much underway—cannot afford to ignore where they come from, where they operate, and where they are destined to go together with those they responsibly lead.

Their power does not come from what they are able to do, but from their ability to relate positively to this new reality.

Conclusion

Every musical instrument produces a specific sound because it's in its nature to emit that sound and no other.

A leader of our time will never try to change the nature of the reality they must interact with—as has been done until now—but, like a skilled composer and conductor, they will use the unique sounds of each instrument to produce the best possible symphony.

This is the essence of what I call "systemic" leadership.